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Mommy Milestones: A Newborn’s Guide to Measuring Your Mommy’s Development

1 Month Post Baby: Your mommy’s morning hygiene routine consists of washing her face with a wipe, while she’s changing you.

3 Months Post Baby: Your mommy has finally mastered the art of nursing you without completely exposing herself to the public. Some mommies may progress even faster and be able to nurse without walking away branded with wet circles on their shirts.

5 Months Post Baby: Your mommy’s separation anxiety subsides and she may trust a babysitter to watch you while she checks the mail.

7 Months Post Baby: Your mommy displays social skills again and may be able to put sentences together to talk to other mommies at the park. Some mommies progress faster at this stage, depending on whether or not they are getting any sleep at night.

9 Months Post Baby: Your mommy finally realizes that she no longer needs to eat for two and joins a weight loss program.

10 Months Post Baby: Your mommy decides that all germs aren’t bad and uses the five second rule when your beloved pacifier falls on the ground.

12 Months Post Baby: Your mommy begins to forget all the pain and exhaustion you have caused her this past year and convinces your Daddy that all children should grow up with siblings.

photo credit: mahalie

Marion Burgos is a stay at home mother of four children ages six, four, two and three months. She survives the chaos of her days by laughing and writing about the adventures with her four children. She is an imperfect, highly emotional and sometimes sarcastic mom, who finds comfort in the comradery of motherhood.